827 – Fad Dieting
Joel: You don’t look so hot. Are you okay?
Beatrice: I’m perfectly fine.
Joel: Oh, and you’re grouchy, too. Don’t tell me. You’re dieting again.
Beatrice: Just leave me alone. I’m not popping pills or anything like that. I’m just trying to shed a few pounds the natural way.
Joel: The natural way? You mean like that diet you were on a few months ago where you only ate Monday, Wednesday, and Friday? Or that other diet you were on before where you drank 50 cups of water a day?
Beatrice: Those were fad diets that didn’t work. I’m onto a new diet that’s guaranteed to take way those unwanted pounds and to reveal my slimmer self.
Joel: You sound like a commercial, or an infomercial. Is that where you found this diet, on some late-night infomercial?
Beatrice: It doesn’t matter where I heard about this diet. It only matters that its scientifically proven to help people lose weight.
Joel: All right. I need to shed a few pounds. What’s the secret diet?
Beatrice: I’m not telling you. You’ll only make fun of it.
Joel: No, I won’t. Tell me.
Beatrice: All right. I only eat orange-colored foods.
Joel: What?!
Beatrice: I said, I only eat orange-colored foods. I’ve eaten a lot of oranges and carrots.
Joel: I can see why you’re so grouchy. You’ve lost your bleeping mind!