779 – Giving CPR
Joyce: Lie down on the floor.
Steve: Why?
Joyce: I have to practice for my CPR exam tomorrow. I’m taking it so I can get my CPR certification. Lie down please.
Steve: Okay, okay. Now what do I do?
Joyce: You just lie there and pretend to be unresponsive, like you’re in cardiac arrest. Okay, I need to determine your heart rate and if you’re breathing or not. Then, I check to see that your airway isn’t blocked.
Steve: Hey, get your fingers out of my mouth!
Joyce: Lie still! You’re lucky I don’t have to administer artificial respiration.
Steve: Thank God for small favors!
Joyce: But I do need to practice restoring your circulation by doing chest compressions.
Steve: Ouch, that hurts!
Joyce: You’re supposed to be unresponsive, remember? Hold still while I get the defibrillator.
Steve: Oh, no, you don’t! From now on, as far as you’re concerned, I’m a case of do not resuscitate!